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Obama - bail-out companies must justify perks and jets

"Companies receiving federal aid are going to have to disclose publicly all the perks and luxuries bestowed upon senior executives, and provide an explanation to the taxpayers and to shareholders as to why these expenses are justified." While flight departments were not specifically cited, they seem unlikely to escape this scrutiny.

NBAA President Ed Bolen countered : "Instead of discouraging companies from accepting and using business airplanes or any other strategic business asset, policymakers should be looking for ways to increase general aviation manufacturing jobs, promote economic development in communities without commercial airline service, and facilitate productivity and efficiency at companies trying to do more with less."

More Guidelines for New Student Pilots

This appeared in Australian Aviation Magazine (June 2000 - Long story how I found it NOW!)

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Top Ten Signs that You're an Aviation Addict

1. You speed dial ATIS
2. You whine and fret on every nice day that you're not up in the air (instrument students and pilots add low cloudy days)
3. You whine and fret every day that the wx is too bad for flying
4. get DUATS or a wx briefing on days you can't fly, just to see if the wx is really as nice for flying as it looks
   
5. You get DUATS or a wx briefing on days with awful wx, just to assure yourself that the wx really would be too bad to fly
6. You learn mental methods for flight planning, and spend boring meetings planning flying trips
7. You calculate every expenditure in terms of flight hours (50 cents at the candy machine every day that's 0.01 flight hours!
8. Your girlfriend is made of aluminum and her name starts with an 'N'.
9. You get in your car and find that it drives itself the the airport.
10. You become an instructor so you can be paid to go for airplane rides!

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Safety Briefing

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples
that have been heard or reported:

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways
out of this airplane..."

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke,
contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing
of the airplane.

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking
in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am
going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as
you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit
cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight
pattern."

And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We
hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking
you for a ride."

A Caption Would be Superfluous